Marriage is about compromise, teamwork, and communication. Unfortunately, it’s very easy for all of these things to go out the window when couples start talking about finances.
Sitting down to make a budget and create a spending plan can be a frustrating experience for many couples, though. Things can become even more frustrating when spouses simply can’t get on the same page when it comes to what they can spend and how much they should save.
It can feel like you’ll never reach your retirement goals or save up enough money for a down payment on a home if your spouse is a casual spender. It can also feel like you don’t get to enjoy anything in life if your spouse is tight with every penny.
The end result is that emotions get into the mix to create a toxic environment that isn’t ideal for reaching any of your goals or enjoying any of the money that you’re working so hard to earn. Being smart about working together to budget your finances early and often is important. This is especially true since money is the leading cause of stress in most marriages.
Related: The 31-Day Money Challenge
So, what can you do if you and your spouse can’t agree on a budget? Well, here are four tips to get you both on the same page when it comes to spending.
Bring in a Third Party
It may be time to consult with a financial planner or budgeting expert if you and your spouse have been going around in circles when it comes to settling on a budget.
Getting the help of a professional who specializes in creating budgets can bring in a new perspective. In addition, it can prevent the issue of one spouse feeling attacked or judged by their partner. A professional will be able to bring a neutral, balanced approach to the table that simply offers the best options for your financial standing.
Use Visual Tools
One of the biggest roadblocks to creating a good budget is that people don’t really know where their money goes.
It can be hard to convince your spouse to change spending habits if they can’t visualize how much money is really going toward certain purchases. This is why using a program that breaks down your spending each month and provides a visual graph of the areas where money goes can be a big help. A visual guide can serve as a great starting point for a real conversation. You can work as a team to adjust your habits to balance out any unnecessary purchases that are eating away at your monthly budget.
Tools like Mint and YNAB offer easy ways for couples to collaborate on viewing their spending habits and sticking to budgets.
Related: How Can Couples Budget When One Person Is Self-Employed?
Make Your Budget Temporary
Your spouse may not want to commit to being locked into a long-term budget. They may feel stifled by being forced to restrict spending or do the same things every month.
However, there’s a good chance that your spouse might have a change of heart once a successful budget starts putting more money in your bank account. Seeing that money pay off small debts quickly and help you reach financial goals as a family will be encouraging. The problem is just getting the ball rolling.
You can reach a compromise by asking your spouse to stick to a new budget for a trial period. Ask them to live by a specific budget for anywhere between three months and six months to see how it works for your family.
Let them know that they can go back to their old spending habits after the trial period is over — if they must — without any complaints from you. However, the strides you’ve made financially during the trial period may just inspire everyone in your family to stick to practicing better spending habits.
Learn More About A Bare Bones Budget
Keep Collaborating
It can be tempting to stop collaborating on financial matters when communication breaks down between you and your spouse. Some couples may be tempted to simply allow one person to handle all of the finances or run their bank accounts independently.
Neither of those options will help you get where you want to be if your goal is to create a solid family budget.
Both spouses should have equal control over financial decisions. Joint responsibility over decision-making should be your strategy, even if one spouse makes a significantly higher income than the other. Allowing one person to control all of the financial decisions for your household simply because they make more money can lead to resentment that could result in bad spending habits.
Related: How to Live on a Budget with 4 Valuable Lessons
Even when it’s tough, try to agree on a few of the basics on your spending plan. For instance, agree what you’ll spend on a certain problem area. Then, go from there. And stay in communication. Consider setting up a weekly or monthly budget meeting at a non-stressful time. Then, you can have the conversations you need to have on a regular, ongoing basis.
Topics: BudgetThe post 4 Steps to Take When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree On Spending Habits appeared first on The Dough Roller.
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